If this person really thinks that Jesus fixed the dent in her car, like came down and literally himself fixed the dent, I am now so scared of humanity I no longer want to leave the house.

(Thanks Sara)

The disgraced Ted Haggard has more than a few demons in his closet. Maybe they can come out for a visit this very Thursday. I have to say, this is fairly tame for what they could be saying. I can’t chastise this four named person, she is actually quite the Christian. I don’t get to say that often. Bravo.

PDR takes it a bit too far though. I definitely wouldn’t compare Ted to being wise. If God gave him the gift of preaching but not the gift of self control, God must really need some entertainment.

(Thanks anonymous)

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE I STARTED WORSHIPPING JIM CARREY?!?!

“I’d never thought of going to see a third-rate version of a first-rate work being particularly praiseworthy. After all, it’s not like this woman is locked away in her house by her husband and only gets to escape on weekends, or that she works 80 hours a week so that a trip to the movies is a great adventure.”

(Thank Anonymous)

“What concerns me the most, is that the majority of the people taking place in this conversation are public school educators.” Ah, that explains how this happened.

Here is what happens when people too stupid to understand science try to, well, understand science. I don’t understand quantum physics, but that doesn’t diminish the competance of the scientists who do. The fact that any of them are involved in the education system makes me feel ill. Sadly, Suzie happens to not be involved in the public education system, even though she is the only one here who should be. I am gonna go ahead and guess Pam Three-Names didn’t even read Suzie’s post (or is too stupid to understand it…) because she answers her question. No worries though, Pam. We aren’t offended we just think you’re stupid.

(Thanks for the intelligence Suzie)

Did this really need to be a novel of a FB note? This is only part of the tirade, as I am sure you can see. Leaving a religion is a serious, personal decision, but the priest didn’t lie to you. He taught what he believed. EXACTLY what you are doing the same thing to your FB friends right now. If doing kind things is like vomiting I am certainly going to stop being kind. 

(Thanks STFU, Conservatives)

Uh… I don’t know of any MLK day. Do you mean Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by chance? What a ridculous person. Did you really need to say Gehenna? You could have said Hell and more people would have known what you were saying. She’s probably taking a Hebrew class and just desperately trying to show off what she is learning in it. C, that would be “you’re” actually.

Wait, did Sandra Bullock and the pres make a super fabulous baby I am unaware of???

(Thanks anonymous)

The devil sure is busy this week. Telling kids there’s no Santa, possessing soda pop, what’s next? No Easter Bunny and possessing coffee??? (I can only assume his evil ways are limited to Christian holidays and caffeine, but who knows!)

(Thanks Joetta)

Here’s a good one. A four named person (and a three named person likes it) and this is the reason for her tirade: “someone told her toddler that Santa isn’t real. It’s the work OF THE DEVIL.”

You know what kids care about? Presents. They don’t care where they come from. I knew Santa wasn’t real when I was like 5. Did I care? No. I asked if I was still getting presents. My mom said yeah and that was the end of it. Get a clue lady, it’s not the fat guy that makes ‘em happy, it’s the toys.

Oh, and you’re a psycho. I often say God has better things to do then get you a car or a raise. Well, Satan has better things to do than tell your kid Santa isn’t real. Is anyone else turned off by the idea of lying to your kids in the first place? Just a thought.

(Thanks Sadie)

“Uh, I think someone needs to look up the definition of brain functionality…”

(Thanks anonymous)

“I spotted this in the parking lot of a grocery store.  My first thought was ‘No’ and my second thought was ‘How did they get a question mark on their license plate?’”

(Thanks P)

Ah, you have three names. Interesting. “Clearly we know who’s not awesome here.”

(Thanks Terry)

You thought these people were nuts, but now people need prayers for these things. Of course the two people serious about prayer in this convo have three names (For my own sanity I am assuming AM is kidding.). That seems to be popular today.

(Thanks anonymous)

Ah, mental disorders. Did anyone else just catch that they called themselves greedy? It’s not admirable when you need a deity to talk to you to tell you to focus on people and not “stuff.”

(Thanks anonymous)

Here are more of the three named people I promised. Not that y’all is ever correct in a sentence, but I think it would be “Y’all just need to…” I mean, let’s try and limit our murdering the English language to one issue per sentence. Speaking of which, that would be “missiles” JKC.

(Thanks anonymous)